Go On and Keep Breathing
by LitLover 101
Summary: Requested fic for Anon on Tumblr: When Lizzie becomes acutely aware of flashbacks—from her time with a certain genie—she enlists the help of Hope and Landon. Regaining her memories overwhelms her, she needs a friend—in not-so-shining armor—enter Rafael, to keep Lizzie from spinning completely out of control.


**Hello, my lovely readers. An Anon, on Tumblr requested: A one-show where Lizzie has (another) episode and is comforted by Rafael. This is my response to the request. On with the show…**

_**Go On and Keep Breathing:**_

Quick inhalation. Slow exhalation. Eyes closed. You are in control, Lizzie Saltzman silently chanted to herself. She could do this. She would define who she was. The nightmare flashes of something she did not recall would not drive her over the edge.

Opening her eyes, Lizzie smiled. "Success," she sighed. Now, time to go find Jo.

That morning they'd had an argument about something seriously stupid and Lizzie could not recall why she'd lost her temper so quickly. She'd flown into a rage and set Jo's textbook on fire. The book had lain open in her sister's lap. Lizzie could still see the panic and pain as her sister flipped the book out of her lap and calmed the fire with a word.

"Get it together, Lizzie!" Josie shouted before she stormed out of the room, leaving Lizzie to stand in the middle of their bedroom, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Leaving her room, Lizzie smiled at other students in the hallway. Turning a corner, she caught sight of her father. He looked past her—not seeming to even see her before he went off with Hope Mikaelson.

Lizzie gritted her teeth and continued down the hall. Spotting M. G., she headed straight for him. He would say something nice to her and the world would make a little more sense. Kaleb got up from his seat and looked at Lizzie before nudging M. G. in the other direction.

Lower lip puckering outward, Lizzie restrained the need to scream. She just wanted to talk to someone. Anyone.

Landon came into view and Lizzie sneered at the boy. Nope.

Turning her back on the school's charity case, Lizzie bumped into a furious Penelope Park. "I heard what you did to Josie this morning!" Penelope spat out.

Lizzie looked down her nose at Penelope. "That's between me and Jo, Satan. Go haunt someone else." Moving past Penelope, Lizzie intended on looking for someone with a sympathetic ear.

"You're going to listen to me," Penelope called and Lizzie whirled on her heel, to give Penelope a piece of her mind when Penelope held up her hands.

Lizzie felt her head begin to ache and she fell to her knees. Other students were staring at them. Lizzie could see a number of her peers trying to cover smirks and some even laughed at her. Oh, she would make them pay for that.

"Hey, hey!" Landon called, placing a hand on Penelope's shoulder. "You're going to get into trouble, Penelope. If you want to help Josie, find a better way."

Penelope grinned at Lizzie and dropped her hands. "I think she got the message."

Lizzie sucked in deep, calming breaths as the crowd dissolved. Landon held out a hand and Lizzie wrinkled her nose at it before pushing herself to her feet. "Did I ask for your help?" She snapped, dusting off her skirt and giving Landon an imperious look.

Landon shrugged. "I thought you needed someone to step in. Since Hope wasn't here…"

"Oh, yes, Hope. The Queen of Helping Those in Distress. Mother Theresa 2.0. She's too busy sucking up to my dad," Lizzie said.

Nodding, Landon took a step back. "Well, good luck with whatever's bothering you." He started to turn his back on her when Lizzie grabbed his arm.

"You know what," Lizzie said, offering Landon a smile. "You might come in handy." She jerked him down the hall with her. A plan was forming in her head. She needed to figure out what it was she couldn't recall, and who better to help her than Hope and her ridiculous excuse for a boyfriend.

~0~

"What is it, exactly, you want from me?" Landon asked Lizzie as she perched on a table in the library. He had a pile of books in front him, mostly untouched.

"I overheard you and Hope talking about researching Malivore. And it looks like you're actually useful for something. I need you to look into mind-sucking monsters. I think I might have been attacked by something that took my memories. And I want them back," Lizzie explained.

Hope entered the room with a frown. "Seriously, Lizzie? A note in the pocket?" She held up the note that Lizzie had magically sent Hope ten minutes ago. "I was in the middle of class."

"So?" Lizzie's brows rose.

Hope huffed before taking a seat beside Landon. "What do you want?"

"Like the note says: I need a spell," Lizzie stated in her most patient state of being.

Lizzie watched Hope give Landon a long, pained look and then face Lizzie. "Right. Okay. And you didn't do it yourself because…"

Great. Super witch was going to milk this. Gritting her teeth, Lizzie forced a smile. "If I could have, I would have. Since I can't…"

"You need my help." Hope was openly gloating and Lizzie wanted to rip Hope's hair out of her head, or set her on fire, or both. Instead, she rose above it and continued smiling. "What kind spell are we doing here?" Hope slipped into business mode, her face taking on "I'm Super Woman" state.

"I need a spell to retrieve some memories. I think one of the monsters attacked me and went Spring Cleaning on my brain," Lizzie explained, falling into a seat and allowing her worry to seep through.

"Really?" Hope looked genuinely concerned at this point. "Okay. Well, I could get MG. He can help me enter your mind, like I did with the Necromancer –"

"No!" Lizzie shot to her feet. Slapping her hands on the table top, she shook her head. "Under no circumstances will Milton be prying through my inner most thoughts and feelings."

"Why? Are you scared of what he'll see?" Landon asked, flipping a page in the book before him. His lips titled to the side in a smirk.

Lizzie lost her temper. "If and when Hope had a baby it would be a little ginger hobbit with so few social skills that it would never leave its room, doing us all a favor because we'd never have to pretend to make nice with it. Unlike the pains we have to suffer with you two." Smiling, Lizzie watched Landon lean back in his seat like she'd slapped him and Hope glared back at her.

"I don't think Lizzie needs our help," Hope announced. Raising her chin, she held out a hand to Landon. "Let's go."

Landon got up and moved to join Hope so they could leave when Lizzie circled the table and held out her hands, blocking their exit. "I'm sorry. I am a total bitch when I'm scared. And I am terrified. Please, help me!" She offered them wide, sad eyes and Hope sighed.

"Fine. Just don't talk." Hope turned around and opened a book. Landon returned to his own studies.

Relaxing Lizzie took a seat across from them and opened another book. "I was wrong. Your kid would probably be like Willow Rosenberg. Book-y and witchy. Plus, she was kind of cool."

"Lizzie Saltzman offers us a compliment," Hope sighed.

"She must really be desperate," Landon said, nodding and not looking up.

Lizzie clamped her mouth shut. She did need their help. And she would get it even if she had to bite her own tongue off to prevent any more insults from coming out.

~0~

After an hour, Hope came across something she thought might be useful. She smiled. "I found your cure. You don't mind drinking snake venom, do you?"

Lizzie's nose wrinkled up. "Seriously?"

"No," Hope shook her head. "Just some eye of newt and some other things you don't want me to name."

"Oh, gross," Lizzie groaned.

Hope shrugged. "I'll be back."

Lizzie decided it would be best to stay here. If she did not see Hope mix the potion, she would not know what was in it. That would be better for everyone.

Landon got up and followed his girlfriend out of the library.

Lizzie drummed her nails against the table top, consulted her phone, read some of the books left behind—carefully skipping over the spell Hope found on memory regeneration.

When Hope came back into the room, she held a steaming cup that looked like some kind of colon cleanser from hell. "Green?" she moaned, grimacing at the cup.

"Don't smell it," Landon warned, his own nose wrinkling and he pinched his nostrils.

Lizzie stared warily at the cup. "Bottoms up," she sighed. Closing her eyes and trying not to gag, she forced the potion down her throat. At first, her gag reflex kicked in and she had to place her hand over her mouth and breathe deeply. "That is the worst smoothie. Ever!" she cried when she'd finished it.

"I added some mint, for flavor," Hope said, smiling and Lizzie peered at her before feeling her stomach heave.

"I'm going to spew!" Lizzie warned them, standing up.

"Trash can!" Landon cried, he moved to find one while Hope watched Lizzie.

"Okay. Just one second," Lizzie held up a finger, her other hand on her stomach. "Never mind." And then her eyes rolled up in her head and she fell to the floor, screaming. Memories of a different world overtook her and Lizzie continued to scream.

At some point Lizzie opened her eyes to look into Hope's. Lizzie head lie in the older girl's lap. Landon sat on the floor, to her left. "You okay?" he asked.

"Do I look okay?" Lizzie snapped. "Never tell anyone of this."

"You said Josie was dead," Hope told Lizzie.

"She was…I think…" Lizzie felt confused. Her memories still did not make any sense. "There was…" She had a vision of a blue woman. "A genie. She granted me wishes…but she ruined things… She took my memories away… I killed my sister…Oh, God! Oh, no!" Pushing herself to her feet, Lizzie shook her head. "I…"

"A genie?" Hope pushed herself to her feet and grabbed Lizzie's shoulders. "Are you sure, Lizzie? It must be a monster that no one else saw." Hope's attention turned to Landon. "It might still be here. We need to find out, before anyone gets hurt."

And then Hope and Landon left to be heroes and Lizzie could feel herself shaking. She forced herself out of the library and toward the main entrance to the school. She needed to be outside. She needed to be away from other people, because she could feel it building inside her. The rage.

Breaking out in a run, Lizzie left the front gates of the school and kept going. She only stopped when she was at the end of the driveway and fell to her knees, screaming and crying. Raising her arms, Lizzie watched the wind begin to whirl before her.

A perfect little tornado began to build and Lizzie watched it in awe. She'd always restrained herself when it came to nature's elements. Don't make storms, Lizzie. It's wrong. You could hurt someone. But grief built inside her. She wanted nothing more than to watch that grief come to life and pummel everything in its path.

"Lizzie, what are you doing?" Rafael called from somewhere behind Lizzie. "Hey! Is that a tornado?!"

"Ahhhhhh!" Lizzie screamed, her body shaking as she dropped to her knees, her blonde locks flying around her head as the wind swirled closer to her. With any luck, her little storm would suck her in and she would never have to face this memory again.

"Lizzie!" Rafe shouted and then his arms caught her own, dragging them downward and trapping them to her sides. "Lizzie, calm down," he whispered into her ear.

Sobbing, Lizzie watched her creation slow and then stop. "Why?" she moaned.

"What were you doing? You could kill someone with that thing!" Rafael turned Lizzie around, his dark eyes meeting her light ones. "Hey? Talk to me?"

Shaking her head, Lizzie could only sob. She allowed him to tuck her head under his chin and to hold her. This is all she'd wanted when she met him. Someone to care. Someone to make the pain go away and for her inner turmoil to find a place to rest, in peace.

"I killed Jo," Lizzie hiccupped.

"You what?" Rafe pulled back, his expression showing horror.

"No. I mean…There was this genie. And I wished for a world without Hope…and in it…in it…I found out about this twin merge thing…and I killed Jo…" Lizzie watched Rafe's expression turn from confusion to relief.

Rubbing her arms, Rafe sat down. He pulled her down in front of him. "Look, you didn't hurt Jo. And you don't have to. Just because some genie showed a vision where you did, doesn't make it true." He offered her a smile and Lizzie wished she could smile back.

Tucking her legs under her, Lizzie blew out a breath. "The genie said that these things I saw- they tend to come true. And what if there really is a twin merge? What if I am destined to kill my sister?"

"You said it in a world where Hope didn't exist. But she does. So, problem solved. As for this twin merge, you should talk to your dad. And Jo. You'll find a way to not hurt her."

"How are you so sure?" Lizzie demanded.

Rafe grinned. "'Cause you love her. Like I love Landon. They're our family. And you're not going to hurt your family. Not like that. I've known you long enough to know that under all that "Me, me, me;" you care about Josie and you won't allow anyone to hurt her. You'll put her first in this case."

"Would you put Landon first; if you were me?" Lizzie demanded folding her arms over her chest.

Sighing, Rafe looked down and then looked Lizzie in the eye. "I already am."

"How?" Now Lizzie felt curious. What could Landon Kirby have that Rafe did not. What sacrifice could Rafe be making?

"You promise this stays between us?" Rafe asked.

Lizzie nodded. "I have kept the occasional secret or two."

"Hope," Rafe breathed.

Lizzie blinked at Rafe. "Hope…what?" Then it dawned on her. "Oh…Oh? Really? You're into Hope."

"This secret stays with you, Liz," Rafe said, extending his pinkie. "To the grave."

Scoffing, Lizzie rolled her eyes but linked pinkies with Rafe. "So, are we friends now? Friends who tell each other our deepest, darkest secrets?"

"I guess. As long as you don't tell anyone about my crush. I won't tell anyone you made a tornado that could have leveled this place," Rafe waved a hand at the school behind them.

Lizzie grinned. "What if someone saw it? All they had to do was look out their bedroom window."

"We'll blame it on a monster. Or too much pot," Rafe cracked a grin. "You want to go back in?"

"No." Lizzie shook her head. "It's nice out here. I think I'll commune with nature for a couple of more minutes." Lying down, Lizzie felt a sense of calm seep into her body.

Rafe laid down beside her and folded his arms behind his head. "It is a nice night."

"Be quiet," Lizzie ordered him.

"Okay," Rafe said.

Closing her eyes, Lizzie did not see visions of a terrible world, where she did terrible things; she saw nothing and felt at rest. For once, she felt pure peace.

**Thank you reading, faving, following and reviewing. **

**Peace,**

**J**


End file.
